Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
