My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize