I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Welp...herpes.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Panties = found
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