It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
