I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
