dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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