We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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