I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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