Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
