Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
