They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
