omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
