i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
