New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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