Whod you bang
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
