i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I enjoy the company of your penis
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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