worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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