conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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