I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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