she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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