how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize