By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
