For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
