Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
