Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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