so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
