CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize