I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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