I bet he comes in French.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
