Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
