I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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