Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
