Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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