I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize