First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
