he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
