You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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