I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
