dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
