fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
