We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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