Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
