I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
