Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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