He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize