How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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