College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
