You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
