i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
