i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Quick, to the slutcave!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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