So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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