Already got asked if we're dating
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
