To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
