i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
