I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The adults are the big ones right?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
