Whod you bang
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
