no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
