My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
