problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
