If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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