I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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