Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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