you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
