I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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