My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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