Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So much rum. So many feels.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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