I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
