i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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