yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
