I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize