Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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