so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
