I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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