I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
