he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize