I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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