Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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