I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
